I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
