i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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