Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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