My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
