A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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