the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
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It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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