omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
