Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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