If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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