and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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