I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
