Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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