My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize