return my video game
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
