I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
