Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize