I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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