I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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