I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
