I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
