Pants 0. Shit 1.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
