where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
