Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
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Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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