Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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