I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
