I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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