Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
