I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My vagina is very pro this idea
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
