just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
