i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
