Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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