You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize