i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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