I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize