She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
