I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
