ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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