I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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