I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
