he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
