There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
