I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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