guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
