Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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