you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize