I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now heโs decided heโs spending the weekend with his family
In other news, thereโs some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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