Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
should my penis look like a turkey
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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