where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize