How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We left the knife in your bed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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