im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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