well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
