New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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