When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
