Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize